The monday musings of a crazy cat lady…



I was watching The Simpsons. He strolls into the room and plants a squidgy bundle of sellotape and wrapping paper on the bed. I look up, eyebrow cocked, and he nods towards the parcel.


After unfolding the glitter-caked paper I am reminded of that moment in Sex and the City (yes I am a teenager of the noughties who was embroiled in the wonders of American cable sitcoms, bootleg jeans and RnB), when Trey brings home a cardboard baby for his wife, Charlotte, because they can’t conceive and he deems this an appropriate novelty substitution.

Inside the paper I find a cat. Not a real cat, but one stuffed with polyester and furnished with glossy plastic eyes that follow you to every corner of the room.

I am not saying we are ‘trying for a cat’. Unless you can call yearning after the endless snapshots of a Google image search for ‘Exotic Shorthair Kittens’ trying. But my boyfriend did bring home this cuddly toy grumpy cat because I am cat-broody and unfortunately, at this moment in time, without the real thing. Polyester and plastic will just have to do…

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  1. 17 March 2015 / 11:57 am

    How does your gorilla feel right now? Usurped.

    • 17 March 2015 / 1:21 pm

      He’s still as frown faced as ever. Perhaps they’re a match made in heaven. I’ve a veritable farmyard of inanimate animal souls to stifle with my attention in this place anyway, so I’m used to the motherly balancing act. (Can’t help but think how your comment might’ve looked to anyone that doesn’t have a clue what you’re talking about.)

      • 17 March 2015 / 7:35 pm

        Gorilla is probably still miffed he’s just a placeholder for when your better half ships the real thing from Congo for you.

      • 17 March 2015 / 7:35 pm

        I want a cat. No. I need a cat. ?

  2. 19 March 2015 / 11:57 am

    At least a stuffed kitty won’t bring you a live mouse–and drop it on your chest at 2:00 AM. We had quite an exciting morning here.

    • 21 March 2015 / 8:41 am

      Haha, this is very true, I never thought of that… I’ve had family cats that’ve left presents across the house, but never in bed, that must’ve given you quite a fright!

  3. steveo
    15 April 2015 / 12:34 am

    Does the litter box come next?

    • 15 April 2015 / 8:25 am

      Hmm, maybe in a few years when we’re ready to commit to looking after a real living thing… 😀

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